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… to put my dog down.

Jackie is 16 years old… The best we can figure. She was a rescue. She’s part black lab and part Jack Russell. She’s been with us for so very long. I can’t imagine life without her.

She has been going downhill for a while. Losing weight and moving more slowly. She still eats… But not as much as she used to. I give her a gabapentin pain pill in the morning, and sometimes in the evening. She is having occasional issues with vomiting, and bloody diarrhea.

The last time I took her to the vet, I thought she had lost a lot of weight. But the vet said she had actually gained a pound. Today she has been wandering aimlessly through the house. She sleeps on a big puffy bed.

Lately she has wanted to be with me all the time. Especially for the last few days.

I just don’t know how to tell. With the pain medicine I don’t see her being in a lot of pain. I don’t think I’m the best judge, because it seems like my husband was a lot worse than I comprehended toward the end of his life.

Are there any of you that could share with me? What was the turning point for you… At what point you finally decided that it was time?

WhatsRight, this is the most difficult part about how to care for an old dog at the end of their life.

I suspect your old girl has only days left to live, but as our vet asked us, before we lost our dear old Mr. K the morning of 2022 Thanksgiving Day (and you may remember that; you posted to me then, I recall), if your dog has not "vocalized" - whined, whimpered, growled or anything - maybe the pain isn't the main concern, so then you have to consider their other emotional needs, as well. Just like with us, at the end of life.

I think dogs know when they are going down, but to make the decision to end their life, if they are not expressing any pain? I couldn't quite do it....others may disagree.

Cat owner here, but I’ve been through the same dilemma more than I cared to. Cats hide pain differently than dogs, but I could always see it in their eyes. And a change in their behavior.

My approach, and it is only that, is to error on too soon rather than too late once I see the quality of life or enjoyment of life dramatically drop.
And yes, I have to live with the fear that I was too soon.

It’s just brutal. I think you will know when it is time because you love your pups so much.

Sending support. Be good to yourself and keep reminding yourself that sometimes the kindest thing you can do for your pet is the hardest one for you. :-(. I wish they lived much longer lives.

I'm sorry. I'm going through the same thing. It's confusing and distressing. I have put a dog to sleep before, but it was obvious in the past.

My dog is over 15, medium-sized, and a mixed breed. She has also been going downhill for a while. She is old. I think most of her symptoms are due to arthritis. Her mobility is progressively less. She's losing muscle and looks skinny, but still mostly eating adequately.

At times, our dog will wander around the house and bark, sometimes repeatedly late at night. I'll try letting her out or getting water or treats. Sometimes it's ok, and sometimes she doesn't want any of that and keeps barking minutes later. Some nights I'll stay on the couch so she doesn't wake everyone else in the house up. Other times, she's fine for days. At those times, I think she'll be around for months.

Our dog has always been stoic. It's hard for me to know if she's in pain. She's never cried or whined. As an example, about 10 yrs ago my husband and I would both take the dog for runs/walks at different times. She started being less than excited when we would get her leash. I talked to the vet at a visit. He examined her and said she seemed fine but should probably have x-rays. He said she had a fractured front leg and was probably in a lot of pain.

I did recently schedule a visit for end-of-life discussion. The vet talked about our options and how it would work. She said our dog seems weak, but not necessarily in pain. I know a little more what I'm in for now. It helped. Our dog takes Novox and Dasuquin and now gabapentin.

We took her to our friends' house last weekend. They have fostered several old and sick dogs. They told us we would know when it's time. Similar to BarelyBreathing, they said her eyes are clear and bright and that's good.

You've been through so much these past few years. I'm sorry. We just have to trust it will all work out I guess.

I dont know that anyone knows exactly the right time. With one of my Goldens I had made up my mind to take him in the am. He passed overnight.
With My Lucy she was 3 mos shynof 15 and for a large lab thats a long life and 2 yrs prior had been diagnosed with a large pancreatic mass and had kidney disease. She didn't want to get up to go out. She waited til my husband was on a bucket list duck trip and gave me the signal. She was my son's og so together we all sat around her told stories and then headed to the vet where they have an office just for this. Very comfortable and with many amenities including ding songs and twinkies. They allowed her to pass so peacefully it was wonderful. My son's first dog that was his and his first loss as ab adult abd a dad. He mourned it well. If she isn't moving and isn't really wanting to eat even treats its time.

Its the absolute worst part of having a pet. They give us so much and are gone far too quickly. Make sure she knows you are near and love on her.

Well, first of all I want to thank you for sharing these stories with me. Some of your examples have helped me to try to understand my Jackie Chan and how close she is to needing my help for this heartbreaking decision.

But I also can’t thank you enough for taking the time to relive what are such painful memories, in order to help me out.

I still think that she has lost weight, but I haven’t weighed her at the vet in a while. She was just in for her annual physical and May/June and they said that she seemed to be doing OK. That she had gained 1 pound. She wears a thunder jacket For storms, and has for some time. But lately she seems to want it on all the time. Vision has been going for a while, so it’s difficult for me to read her eyes as some of you suggested.

When I pointed out to the vet in the spring that I could see her vertebra on the top of her body, he said that to see ribs, not as bad as seeing on top of her body. I also can see the two bony prominences one on either side of her tail. She looks very gaunt to me.

I have gotten to where I either gently guide her or carry her outside, she drinks a little bit of water, and then comes back inside. Sometimes, after she gets a few steps inside the doggie door, she just stands there. Her back legs shake, and if she tries to turn in from our sunroom into the bedroom to go toward her bed, sometimes her legs get crossed. She has a regular little cushy dog bed, and I have a couple of blankets stripped over it. But now that I have been concerned about painful joints, I have added another round puffy dog bed on top of it. So I lift her up and I put her in that bed and she seems to really enjoy the comfort of it. She just sinks down and is supported all around her.

And that is where she stays. Until the next time I lift her up to take her out. At this point, I’m giving her anything that she wants to eat. I have a little traits that I gave all six of the dogs from time to time and she always accept it from me. Most of the time she eats it but sometimes she just goes over and places it on her bed. I wrap her gabapentin up in thinly sliced deli chicken pieces. She really likes that treat.

As I write all of this down, I feel very horrible… Like I should’ve already put her down. I don’t think she’s coming back from this. I also can’t help but wonder if I am wanting to hold onto her a little longer because she was a large part of my life with my husband. Almost half our marriage.

Anyway, I just sort of pray that she’ll go on her own, but I’m guessing I’ll have to very soon. Your concern.

As you know I went through that whole process recently.
I can share some of my thoughts, but take them as they are.

Some years ago I saw this survivalist-type of program where some hunter in Alaska said something along the lines that no animal really dies of old-age in nature. Either they die because they can’t catch any food, or they die because they can’t avoid becoming some predators next meal. I found a lot of solace in that thought regarding my old black Labrador: he never had to hunt for food, but I’m fairly certain that the last years of his life the local rabbits and squirrels weren’t as concerned about his whereabouts.

What this does mean however is that it’s placed in our hands to decide when other aspects in our pet’s lives makes their existence hard for them.

Your big evaluation could be quality of life.
Sixteen years is a long time... That’s beyond the average lifespan. If she’s happy being around you, can do her business without soiling herself then maybe give her more time. However, a lot of what you describe strongly indicates we are talking weeks or months rather than years. Your big evaluation could be quality of life.

My lab’s cancer was really aggressive. Maybe the vet should have diagnosed him a bit earlier, but frankly that wouldn’t have changed the outcome. We had originally planned on giving him some extra days and have him euthanized at home on a Friday afternoon. On the Thursday the week before, his situation got so bad that we tried to move the appointment to that Friday, but the vet was unavailable. He was put to sleep at noon that Saturday, six days ahead of our original appointment.

I think he would have died from his cancer that very same day, but then only after more struggles and pain. In retrospect I think we were a day too late. Those last 24 hours were painful for him, and from about 10AM to noon (when we had the appointment) we (his family) were all waiting to help him over to greener pastures. I am 100% certain this was due to love and care and not simply to get things over with.
However that extra days really helped us to realize and understand how inevitable his passing was.

I miss him terribly, but don’t have any regret in the decision to let him go.

I can also share that for us it seemed like death was instantaneous. He was first given a sedative that knocked him out. When the final drug was injected into him, my youngest son had his hand on the dog’s chest, feeling his heart. He says the heart stopped about 2 seconds after the vet started pressing the plunger. There was no physical reaction from the dog, so I think this was completely painless. I found comfort in that.

Please be with your friend those final moments. I hear about too many that leave their pets with the vet. I described my friends final moments in my thread of his passing. We are all so happy that we could make this as peaceful and beautiful for him as possible.

Oh Bigger your sharing that story is wrenching. I'm remembering again how it was for our boy, who we were told by our vet later, died of internal bleeding due to a ruptured hemangiosarcoma tumor. His paws had grown cold right before he stopped breathing, so the vet said it wasn't pain necessarily (but who knows how much he was dealing with every day as background). He just slipped away over the last 24 hours of his life and couldn't even stay standing the morning he died, he was that weak. He gave 5 big gasps of breath with my arm around him and H's hand on his head, stroking him and he was gone!

I will never forget that moment his amazing life left us - I guess part of me was still in denial that this was really, truly The End for our boy. I thought I still could feel a heartbeat, but it was just my own pulse in the palm of my hand still pressing against his ribcage. He knew we were there for him as much as anyone can be, at the moment of death.

Right up until that last day, though, it seemed the dog was gallantly trying to live his life the best that he could. He kept going to the door to ask to go out and walk around in the cool November air, as he was panting a lot (we later learned that was due to low blood volume). He kept looking far off at the field across the fence, like he knew he would be leaving soon. The vet confirmed this is instinct that some dogs have, to go off from the home to die. I know he did not want to come back in the house that evening. We each got "asked" to take him out for a walk, and with my H, the dog wanted to walk around the other side of the house than he had with me. Just doing a final check of his premises, but no frank pain signals, except he threw up a pain pill I offered him, so nausea must have hit.

WhatsRight, if her vet has recently assured you that Jackie's condition isn't critical, if she can keep the treats down, drink, do her business, and it seems she is comforted in being near you, then I guess this is where you are for the moment. The occasional blood in the poop could mean cancer, or it could just mean a bad case of gut dysbiosis (we had one episode of that with one of our dogs, and the vet wasn't as worried as we were).

I think you will make the right decision for the dog. Ask yourself what she wants, maybe that can guide you?

Quality of life.

If the pet is suffering daily then it’s probably time.

I don't think you should feel bad. Just take it day by day. So much depends on the dog and the owner and the living situation.

I can help my dog on and off the sectional and the bed in the guest room. If it comes down to it, I don't think I can safely carry her down the front stoop to the yard. I won't have much choice then. We stopped hiking when she couldn't jump into the back seat and I wasn't comfortable lifting her safely up there. My husband can lift her into the car, and we can take a short walk in the botanical garden or a swim at the lake. If he wasn't around, we wouldn't be able to do that though.

If your dog seems happy and comfortable, I say you should trust your judgement on when it's time.